What matters most … is a matter for the heart
Love cannot come in to you, it can only come out of you. [MC]
The last day of the year and, like every other year, the endless wandering of my soul ‘ups the ante’. When my yearning and longing reach their crescendo. It’s noisy, creative, anticipative and full of fire in the belly. It also dumps with it, a bunch of melancholy. A restlessness. An ache. Of something I cannot quite see or grasp. It’s like waiting for that bus you know should come, but never comes, but you keep waiting for it. I feel a bit like a ping pong ball – pinging and ponging my way between the fire in my belly and the stormy blues of melancholy. But today, round one, goes to the fire in my belly – the ignition point at the heart of my yearning and longing … love.
We spend a lifetime searching for love and acceptance. A friend of mine sums this up beautifully. She says most of us are limping along in this life with deeply buried inner pain, facades of confidence, with no idea how to make it right. Love has always been at the core of my search. The chasing of futile dreams in fantasy places, happiness in external pleasure, love in religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that has plagued me. The irony is, the only place I ever needed to search was within. How fabulous is that!
Most of us journey a long way to find what is near. People carry such wrong notions about love. We look everywhere for our perceptions of love. But love cannot be found through external influence. Not in people, power, wealth, beauty, legislation or status. Love is not about performance or doing or going anywhere. No-one can learn to love by following a manual. Love does not force its will on anybody. We cannot control it. And contrary to how the world portrays love, love has no economic value, it is impossible to measure. You can’t love to order – love’s steps are experienced not constituted. Author Mitch Albom says,
“Love is not revenge. It can’t be thrown like a rock. And you can’t create it to fix your problems. Forcing love is like picking a flower, then insisting that it grow.”
I have talked in previous blogs about the way the truth hits you – both hard and gentle at the same time. How it punches you in the stomach as it puts a loving arm around your shoulder. [Anne Ursu]. A few years ago, at a time when I was mentally at my ugliest, I had one of those moments of truth. I love to run. I find the action of putting one foot in front the other calming when life is in a turmoil. On this particular run, when my thoughts were anything but calm – full of self-pity, anger and confusion, I heard the words, ‘Margaret, love cannot come in to you, it can only come out of you.’ Wham! It still sends shivers down my spine. I literally stopped dead in my tracks and looked around me to see if anyone else had heard anything. What a truth! ‘Love can only come out of you.’ Those words of love literally changed and saved my life.
We are all looking for that place where love has hidden itself away. The aching for love and acceptance links us all. To truly understand love, we need divine help. People don’t like to hear this, because we tend to want to be in control of love, dictate love on our own terms, but we won’t get there without God, because God is love – nothing more, nothing less. To seek love is to seek God. And that is a matter for the heart.
I want to finish the year with a quote I used at the beginning of my blog journey. I’m hoping you may take this into the New Year with you. It’s by the 13th-century Persian Sunni Muslim poet, Rumi, he says,
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
The greatest weapon we have is love. And love starts with you, from the inside-out. You must be the love. It’s what you feel in your chest. Your heart knows the way so run in that direction. The alchemy of love can only come from inside you. Oh yes, what matters most is most definitely a matter for the heart. Happy New Year.