Fiftypluskiwi

What do you do when your perception of truth is a lie? Maybe not all of it, but you can be sure some facets of your perceptions will be.

It’s been approximately four long, wearisome years since the madness of Covid descended upon us. These days, when I talk about an event in my life, I use phrases like “…that was pre-Covid” or “… since the Covid era” to describe the event timeline.

I must make it clear. I did not take the Covid-19 injection. I am not a scientist, nor am I a medical expert, a pharmacist or a government official. I have no voice or platform to stand on other than that. I am just an ordinary Aotearoa/ New Zealand citizen who cares about and fears for the well-being and freedom of my country. However, I have a smattering of commonsense – I don’t need to be a vet to know what a dog looks like. I know to question and deliberate on something that does not feel right. That’s the nature of science – challenge and question.

The fangs of COVID-19 punctured us all in some way – either mentally, emotionally, financially, physically or spiritually. Those of us who questioned and continue to untangle the thunderous cacophony of facts, false facts, out-of-context news, psychological trickery, rumour and propaganda, we are bruised and battered. My belief and hope for peace and a better world feel fragile and tenuous. My trust in the systems, organisations and their people who claim to genuinely care and know what is best for me is left splintered and shattered. And, no doubt about it, the COVID era destroyed any preconceived ideas I had about life and humanity.

Many people are ready to forget and move on from the last few years. And I have moved on. I lost my job during the mandates but now have new employment, I remain healthy, have beautiful friends, and my family relationships remain respectful and loving, despite our differing views around the pandemic and COVID-19 vaccine. I am wiser, more reflective, and more grateful for what I have. But I do have unfinished business. As tempting as it is to forgive and forget, one aspect of the Covid era still bothers me – our behaviour – how we responded as individuals and as a nation during our moment of crisis.

In the blink of an eye, we turned against each other. We might like to pride ourselves on being a country of buddies. Bro’s with an almost larrikin approach to authority. Still, our response to the pandemic exposed our true colours – how quick we were to turn against each other. In the heat of battle, family, friends, employers, individuals and as a nation, we turned into a two-tiered society – those who followed the government narrative and those who questioned the official storyline. Doors were slammed shut. Jobs, homes and families were torn apart. People became the greatest threat of all because they might transmit the virus. The relationships that had structured our lives up to that point were destabilised by distance, uncertainty, and a fever of fear.

Author, historian and television presenter Neil Olliver says. “There is a big appetite out there to forget and move on. But it’s beholden on us people to say ‘No’. We need to go through a stage – it’s owning up, taking responsibility, accepting responsibility, and acknowledging what was done.”

“In the West, we all grew up in the second half of the 20th century believing that when we watched the movies, we would have joined the French Resistance, sheltered our neighbours, and been heroes. This was the way everyone was invited to think.

“But the COVID experience showed so many people that when the single choice of the generation came down on them, they were actually the Gestapo ready to don the uniform and kick the doors in, and that’s a tough realisation for people. When the choice was finally there when we were being sorted, many people went their own way.”

So, how and why did we sprint so readily into the arms of those who claimed to be the ‘one source of truth’ and advised us to ‘trust the science’ without question? Did fear, or lack of fear, stunt our ability to logically think and question the plethora of information coming out?

From the moment of conception, our lives are shaped by others. Within and out of the womb, our first life experiences are provided by those entrusted to care for us. In those early years, adult decisions, opinions, customs, actions and perceptions shape our beliefs and who we are.

From childhood to adulthood, we construct a set of values based on past and present wants, needs, and experiences and, of course, a smattering of ego. Children are such natural questioners. They start life by asking endless ‘why’ questions, but this stops somewhere along the pathway of life. Why is that? Did we not know the answers? Is it because the constant ‘why’ questions are too tedious? Do we laugh at a question because we believe it is silly? The fear of being knocked back, ridiculed or laughed at was real for me as a child. This fear accompanied me into adulthood, and I stopped asking questions for a while. It became easier to live everyone else’s truth; when you live someone else’s truth, you live a lie. You live other people’s dreams, views and expectations.

We must freely be able to question, without ridicule, our official voices of authority. History is littered with wars, division and unrest – loss of life at the hands of those who claim to know what is best for us. It has shown us there is no limit to human depravity. And like all wars, the Covid war was just as much about ego, control, money and power as it was about health and healing. I’m not sure if it was ever about health and healing. Why do we equate truth with experts? Are these the questions each one of us should be asking ourselves? Ridicule and being knocked back because of your questions are a small price to pay in discovering the truth.

No, I will never forget world leaders in unison saying again and again, ‘…if you’re vaccinated, you won’t get the virus’ and the warning to the unvaccinated, ‘The virus will hunt you down’. Yes, the Government, or ‘the experts’, have a duty to protect its citizens, even from themselves. However, such decisions must be solely for the good of the people, not for political ideology or monetary gain and especially not for manufactured fear. I’m not sure asking questions is enough to stop the endless repetition of egocentric behaviours of power and control. But it changes us, and that is what is essential. Moving on and forgetting this moment in our history without acknowledging the part our behaviour played in the sorry mess suggests we will slip into the same behaviour again and again.

It is not for the voices of authority to create the truth but for us as individuals to discover the truth. Each person must learn to find out what is true for themselves. This wisdom cannot be inherited. You cannot find this via Google, and it’s not easy to uncover in our busy daily lives. Initially, we may prefer something else to the answers we discover through questioning. We need to be brave and brutally honest when we reflect on our thoughts and actions and the part we played during the pandemic. And we need to be open to different perspectives and make the changes. Only then can we hope to break the cycle and be prepared for the following announcement from the ‘experts’.

A nugget of wisdom in three simple words. NEVER STOP QUESTIONING. Questions tend to become inner voices of wisdom, answers to guide us through the turbulent journey of life. No matter what you think now, nothing is what it seems – nothing – and this is why we should question everything we think, see and are told. Be cynical. Be suspicious. Trust no one. Trust nothing. Seek the truth. Stay curious. People must take back the ability to think for themselves. The questions we ask of the world around us eventually draw us into the world within us.

Wasn’t it Albert Einstein who said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning? Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”